Archive for religion

Only Two Months Till The World Ends Again

After last year’s excitement when Harold Camping prophesised the Rapture not once but twice - and then fell mysteriously silent, perhaps because he’d been Raptured, perhaps because he was very embarrassed, who can say? – this year’s big end-times news has been the alleged prophecy, from the ancient Mayans, that the world will end in December 2012.

In fact, there never seems to have been any such prophecy, but that’s OK, because there is another end-times contender of much more recent provenence, with very specific ideas about the way 2012 is going to unfold. Ronald Weinland, leader of the generically-titled Church of God, is very clear that “Jesus Christ is returning as King of kings on May 27th of this year”. But first there will be global religious war and economic chaos and – um, more stuff like that, I haven’t read the whole of the 250-page .pdf that goes into proper detail

I am impressed, though, by his statement early on regarding the various people who have previously predicted the world’s end: “Obviously, those who made such pronouncements were weirdos, crackpots and unsound religious zealots”. Good to know that he’s not any of those things.

Weinland is being taken seriously by some but mostly he’s regarded even by other evangelical groups as a false prophet. Not that he cares, presumably, because it’s more fun to be the only one making a prediction – you get to sound persecuted, and you get all the glory if it comes true. Well, assuming you’re one of the few people who survive the whole thing. How embarrassing would it be to prophesy the coming of Jesus and then fail to make the grade when he turns up?

So what of the timeline of events? Well, the book has this to say:

The soon-coming time of trouble and devastation is so great that God says there has never been a time like it during man’s 6,000 year period on this earth. This great physical tribulation will last for three and a half years. Then, on the very last day, the greatest destruction of all will come upon mankind – thereby ending World War III. On that day, God Himself will bring judgment, death and destruction upon this world. On this same day, Jesus Christ, the prophesied Messiah, will return with 144,000 resurrected members of the Family of God – the Kingdom of God – to reign over this earth! A new world order, with a single world government, will begin ruling on the earth.

This is interesting for at least two reasons. Firstly, what he’s describing, as he makes clear here, is the last three and a half years. So since 2008 we’ve been having a worse time of it than any period in the last 6,000 years, apparently. Worse than the Dark Ages. Worse than the Spanish Inquisition. Worse than any of these events. I’m not saying the last 3.5 years have consisted entirely of sunshine, kittens and the tinkling laughter of small children, but in terms of overall human history, calling it the greatest period of trouble and destruction ever is definitely way overstating the case.

The other interesting thing is the use of the phrase ‘new world order with a single world government’. A lot of conspiracy sites talk about the New World Order and single global government, but all the other ones are against those things. Ronald Weinland, on the other hand, is using those phrases to describe the upcoming reign of God. So either Weinland is an unwitting tool of Satan, which of course is what the false-prophet sites are basically claiming - or, intriguingly the leader of the shadowy, homocidal and arguably reptilian New World Order, as described in every other internet conspiracy site, is actually the Messiah. Which would make so terrific a plot for a novel that I think I’m going to end this blog post here and start writing it immediately. After all, I’ve only got a couple of months.


Can you have Christmas without Christ? And if not… then what?

Santa don't want you for a sunbeam.

It’s that time of year again. Church signs across the UK are proclaiming that Jesus is the Reason for the Season, and calls for a Christian Christmas are rife (because apparently Christianity, the world’s biggest religion, is in danger of being attacked into oblivion). At least this year there might be fewer references to Winterval, now that even the Daily Mail has admitted it was a fuss about nothing.

Yes: as the song almost says, Santa Christ is coming to town. He’s made his list, he’s checked it twice, and he’s quite clear who’s been naughty and nice. If you truly believe in him, you get a stocking full of satsumas, chocolate and interesting little twiddly things; everyone else gets the traditional sack of coal. (Which, given the impending fossil fuel shortage, could actually be very useful.)

So what if the Reason for the Season faction were right? What if you actually couldn’t have Christmas without Christ? After all, he’s in the title. It would be like having Hamlet without Hamlet, Madame Bovary without Madame Bovary, Waiting for Godot without… well, anyway.

And, importantly, if you’re not supposed to have Christmas without having Christ, what are the options for those who are not currently in possession of Him? Which, since actual UK church attendance on Christmas Day is outstripped by online shopping figures, may be quite a lot of the population. I can only suppose that basically, under these rules, this weekend will see the country divided.

On the one hand (a hand symbolically covered in chocolate, tinsel, and goose fat – actually, that sounds quite an unpleasant combination, just ignore me) we have the true believers celebrating the birth of their Lord, as instructed.

On the other hand, we have everyone else. Atheists, agnostics, members of non-Christian religions, slightly apathetic C of E members who don’t really believe, and so on. No celebrations for them. No tree, no turkey, no crackers, no mince pies. If any seasonal snow should fall, jump out of the way as if each snowflake were made of acid. No carols. Don’t trill so much as a snatch of Jingle Bells; God is listening, ears pricked for the sound of people singing songs whose lyrics they don’t believe in. (So be careful with pop songs too; no renditions of “Last Christmas I gave you my heart” unless you actually have the organ donation certificate.)

And no presents. In fact, to be safe, it’s probably best if you don’t give anyone anything during the day, in case it’s misconstrued as a gift. Hand your loved one a piece of toast and you could find yourself accidentally blaspheming.

I don’t think this can be what the Reason for the Season people actually want, though, because that would leave only about 10% of the country celebrating Christmas. What they want is for everyone to be Christian, so that nobody will be left out in the cold. (Although it’s unseasonably warm out. But metaphorically.)

However, it would surely be wrong to become Christian in order to be allowed to celebrate Christmas; that’s cheating. You have to be a true believer or it doesn’t count. It’s hard though, trying to will yourself into believing something you basically find unlikely, and I speak as someone who’s tried. It’s like squeezing your eyes shut in order to make yourself sleep: some things just have to happen on their own.

In fact, I think I can more easily believe in Santa than in Jesus. After all, I’ve met Santa on numerous occasions, in a wide variety of shopping centres. He has provided us with actual physical items and questioned my family on the level of its moral failings. His appearance seems to vary from occasion to occasion, but then I have friends of whom that is also true.

So if I happen to find the Messiah sitting in a red and green tent next to a M&S and handing my daughter a wrapped pack of colouring pencils, then we’ll talk. Until then, I’m just going to have to live with a potentially-blasphemous Christmas featuring family, friendship, gifts, my children’s laughing faces and the warming crunch of my brother-in-law’s excellent roast potatoes. I find that I believe very firmly in all of those.


Have We Become a Nation of Scrooges?

David Cameron recently called for Britain to return to Christian values.

Well, as a non-believer, I’d prefer not to sign up to the actual religion, but I agree some of the values are very much worth preserving. And for me, especially at this time of year, those values are largely summed up by the story of A Christmas Carol - a traditional family tale which should be well up Cameron’s street, surely.

But is he, and are we, really listening to its message? It’s a very clear message, made plain from early on when Scrooge is approached to give to charity.

“Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir.”

“Are there no prisons?” asked Scrooge.

Earlier this year, Ken Clarke’s attempt at prison reform was blocked because the government didn’t want to be ‘soft’ on crime.

“I don’t make merry myself at Christmas [said Scrooge] and I can’t afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned – they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there.”

The government and the right-wing media are full of attacks on benefit fraudsters, ‘scroungers’, and ‘handouts’. But 96% of calls to the National Benefit Fraud Hotline are malicious or timewasting. Of 254,000 calls to the hotline in 2009/10, only 1.3% resulted in a claimant being sanctioned for fraud. The Guardian has also reported that most cases of ‘fraud’ are actually error.

Meanwhile, ATOS is blithely pronouncing people fit to work on the basis of primitive tests and a brief interview. Not that they can get jobs, because there aren’t enough jobs to go round, and employers frequently discriminate against disabled people either overtly or covertly.

“If they would rather die,” said Scrooge, “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population. Besides – excuse me – I don’t know that.”

“But you might know it,” observed the gentleman.

“It’s not my business,” Scrooge returned.

There was a call recently for better-off pensioners to donate their winter fuel payments to less well-off pensioners. David Cameron’s comment on this was: “I would not want to see any pressure put on people to do something that might not be in their best interests.”

“Man,” said the Ghost, “if man you be in heart, not adamant, forbear that wicked cant until you have discovered What the surplus is, and Where it is. Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be, that in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man’s child. Oh God! to hear the Insect on the leaf pronouncing on the too much life among his hungry brothers in the dust!”

Ken Clarke said after the riots: ”In my opinion our feral underclass in this country is too big, it has been growing, and now needs to be diminished.”

They were a boy and girl. Yellow, meagre, ragged, scowling, wolfish; but prostrate, too, in their humility.

“…This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want.”

“Have they no refuge or resource?” cried Scrooge.

“Are there no prisons?” said the Spirit, turning on him for the last time with his own words. “Are there no workhouses?”

The Institute for Fiscal Studies estimates that child poverty will rise by 800,000 by 2020. People with cancer could lose their benefits if they don’t get better fast enough, and disabled children are being targeted too. David Cameron has proposed stripping benefits from families where children regularly play truant.

“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,” faltered Scrooge.

“Business!” cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. “Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

Do I even have to mention bankers?

Is Scrooge really the role model we want to adopt? If so, let’s stop pretending that we have any respect for the (traditional) values of generosity, benevolence and kindness. And while I don’t believe in ghosts, this image from A Christmas Carol never fails to chill me.

The air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither and thither in restless haste, and moaning as they went. Every one of them wore chains like Marley’s Ghost; some few (they might be guilty governments) were linked together; none were free. Many had been personally known to Scrooge in their lives. He had been quite familiar with one old ghost, in a white waistcoat, with a monstrous iron safe attached to its ankle, who cried piteously at being unable to assist a wretched woman with an infant, whom it saw below, upon a door-step. The misery with them all was, clearly, that they sought to interfere, for good, in human matters, and had lost the power for ever.

Christmas Eve is this Saturday. Who’s on for putting on some chains and arranging a midnight visit to Cameron?

Or is it the whole country that needs deScrooging?


Rapture 2: This Time It’s Fluffy

First published at the Huffington Post

Back in the spring, you may remember, a man called Harold Camping informed the world that the Rapture was going to take place on May 21st. The Rapture according to Camping would consist of one day in which all true Christians would be raised up to Heaven, and then a six-month period during which the rest of us would suffer in the ruins of a fiery Earth. (I wrote a blog post at the time called You May Experience A Burning Sensation, in which I speculated that God’s reason for the six months of fire was that he had some really big sausages to toast. Probably lost me a few brownie points in Heaven.)

Anyway, as you may also remember, the Rapture didn’t happen. But as is the way of self-styled prophets, Camping is undaunted: his website explains that Christ did come to earth on May 21st – spiritually, of course, not visibly or publically or anything, that would be silly – and the Rapture period began then. It will climax, by which I mean actually be noticeable, on October 21st with the actual carrying-people-up-to-heaven part.

So far, so good. Well, no, not good, but it’s impossible not to admire a man with such ability to bounce back from disappointment. I mean, seriously, Camping should write a self-help book. (Carry on, Camping? Camping in Heaven? The potential titles are endless.) Or if he doesn’t have time for that before Friday, he could write an inspirational song. It could be called Don’t Stop Believing In Camping.

However! Reading through his announcement, I noticed that Camping has softened quite considerably since May. The original prediction has been startlingly revised. To quote:

“We have also learned that God is still teaching that God has no pleasure in the death of the wicked and will not punish the wicked beyond what is called for in Deuteronomy 25.”

Good news. Because I looked up Deuteronomy 25 and it doesn’t say anything about fire, or the world perishing, or any of that. It says the loser in a dispute can be beaten – ok, not ideal, but we’ll adjust – and it also has a few other laws which are frankly bizarre, but presumably aren’t going to come up that often. I’m thinking of this one:

“If two men fight together, and the wife of one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of the one attacking him, and puts out her hand and seizes him by the genitals, then you shall cut off her hand.”

and this one:

“You shall not have in your bag differing weights, a heavy and a light.”

I don’t know about you, but I can probably manage to avoid those two sitations.

So basically, the prediction now is 1. All true believers will be taken to heaven (but you won’t know if you are one till it happenes) and 2. Everyone else gets to stay as they were, except for obeying a random handful of archaic rules. No problem.

There is one more thing, though. I would like to alert Mr Camping to a potential issue he may need to be aware of. Has he heard of Project Blue Beam?

Project Blue Beam – of which you have probably also not heard, unless you like the odder corners of the internet or have read my book, in which it features – is a fascinating (if you’re me) offshoot of Rapture theory. It holds that the New World Order is designing a false Rapture using special hologram-based technology. The purpose of which would be to make true Christians believe the Rapture has happened and they’ve been left behind, thus causing mass outbreaks of panic and atheism, which are of course what the New World Order likes best.

This would be such a great – if cruel – practical joke that I almost wish someone was designing it, but to the best of my knowledge they aren’t. However, that doesn’t stop these people believing it. Or these people. Or these people. Oh yes, there is a corner of the web that is forever Blue Beam.

I was going to write a paragraph that started “So, why are people so keen to believe these things?” but really, there’s no mystery at all about it. It is blindingly, face-meltingly obvious that we all want to feel that we’re being paid attention to and that we’re special. This can manifest itself in becoming an actor, in writing a blog, in getting drunk and smashing things up, or in devoting your life to the idea that a huge, powerful and secret organisation is so obsessed with breaking you that it will create elaborate and wildly expensive schemes in order to destroy your faith in yourself. In fact, that could loosely describe so many movie plots that it’s hardly surprising the idea is spilling over into real life.

Best of all, the fact that there is no evidence for it doesn’t matter at all because a) obviously a secret all-powerful group would be good at hiding its tracks, and b) it hasn’t happened yet. All in all, it’s the perfect conspiracy theory in many ways.

So: if Friday comes and you see the people around you slowly ascending into the air, don’t panic. It’s always possible they may be holograms.


How to Be A Better Evangelist

Good morning, American religious right, how are you today? Still doing the abortion-hating, homosexuality-shunning, tax-cuts-for-the-rich thing? OK then.

So I’ve noticed that you’re quite keen on the evangelising to people, and I thought I’d offer some entirely unsolicited advice on your techniques. Or, at least, a pointer to a couple of approaches I think you might need to work on. You’re not the only group of people to make these two mistakes, obviously, but some of you do do it quite a lot.

Number 1. Assuming that nobody has ever heard your argument before.

This approach is patented by Jack Chick, the hateful king of evangelical comics. Here is how a typical comic goes, in brief and mildly exaggerated summary:

- Evil Godless Person does evil godless things.
- Good Fundamentalist tells them: “JESUS WILL SAVE YOU!”
- Evil Godless Person becomes Good Fundamentalist Replica and all is well.

(I’m only exaggerating slightly. See here, for example.)

Now, I think that in a country such as America, and indeed through most of the world, it’s dangerous to rely on the element of surprise when trying to turn people Christian. You see, most people have already heard about Jesus. Really. They probably know about the crucifixion, and the resurrection, and the other basics. If you present this story as a novelty, you are unlikely to get the response you want. The Chick comics are in essence wish-fulfilment. Sorry.

Number 2. (In a 180 degree reversal of number 1): Assuming that everyone is a fundamentalist Christian.

I don’t think you can look at homosexuality and what is taking place without examining the spiritual dynamics here. This is essentially man shaking his fist in the face of God and saying I don’t need you, that we will do it our way.

The above is just one of many quotes which assume that the people listening to you are basically on your side, and not, for example, thinking “Actually, I don’t need God! I will do it my way! Cool!”

Maybe this isn’t a mistake. Maybe you are just talking to other people who either agree with you or think they should, like the Demonbuster website (I presume. Well, it’s hard to imagine an atheist believing they need to cleanse their house of demons through the removal of paisley patterned items.)  If so, fine. Not technically evangelising, but ok.

If, however, you wish to convert agnostics/atheists, be aware that threatening us with God’s wrath is not a great place to start. Particularly with the atheists. It’s like threatening to cut off our third leg.

The trouble is, you seem to think that if you want to convince people homosexuality causes earthquakes or rock music is evil, all you have to do is say that God hates it. A lot of Christians will debate you on that anyway, of course. But an atheist will probably just shrug, because, obviously, the statement is meaningless if you don’t believe in God anyway.

Chick tracts do this too. A typical exchange:

- Good Fundamentalist: “You need to accept Jesus into your heart. That is the only way to be saved.”
- Evil Godless Person: “How do I know?”
- Good Fundamentalist: “Jesus says so!”
- Evil Godless Person (now Good Christian Person No 2): “Oh. OK then.”

In real life this would be much more likely to go as follows:

- Good Fundamentalist: “You need to accept Jesus into your heart. That is the only way to be saved.”
- Evil Godless Person: “How do I know?”
- Good Fundamentalist: “Jesus says so!”
- Evil Godless Person: “Yes, but as you know I don’t believe in Jesus, so I need some proof that isn’t related to that.”
- Good Fundamentalist: “… Jesus says so!”
- Evil Godless Person: “So you said. But as far as I am concerned Jesus is not a source of authority. What else have you got?”
- Good Fundamentalist: “… JESUS SAYS SO!”
- Evil Godless Person: “Goodbye.”
- The head of the frustrated Good Fundamentalist splatters across the walls.

You see the problem?

P.S. I know, I know, the American religious right are an easy target. But I can’t stay away.

P.P.S. If you too find evangelical Christianity oddly fascinating, you might be interested in my novel…



No comment needed, really.


Torchwood: In Hell

As a substantial proportion of you will already know (but I shouldn’t assume, so will do this quick explanatory paragraph), Torchwood was originally a spin-off from (and indeed an anagram of) Dr Who, set in Cardiff. Now it has mutated into Torchwood: Miracle Day and is set in America. This post won’t contain any specific spoilers: what I want to talk about is the overall premise of this new series.

Woody Allen, whom I am legally obliged to quote at this point, said “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying”. He should do a guest spot on Torchwood, his quote made flesh. As the show starts, death stops. It’s Miracle Day: everyone lives. The only mortal left is the main character, Captain Jack (John Barrowman), who until then has been the only immortal.

My problem is, I think the show should have been called Torchwood: In Hell. I find immortality terrifying. By the end of the first episode I was just sitting there curled into a childlike ball, thinking “Why are people still going to work and talking about stuff and developing interpersonal relationships? Why isn’t everyone just hiding in a small room, gibbering?” From talking to other people, though, I’m in a minority – maybe even a minority of one, though it seems unlikely – because other people are coping fine with this premise.

But how? This isn’t just immortality. When Captain Jack had it, he also had eternal youth and limitless healing powers. This new ‘miracle’ just means you can’t die. You get hurt (often a lot), you get older (presumably – it’s too soon to know), but you stay alive. And conscious, apparently, although I assume people are managing to sleep (which is a bit of a plot hole then, but never mind).

In other words, this is a nightmare, specifically my nightmare but also, surely, everyone’s. Eternal suffering, without relief. Oh, and babies are still being born, so soon there will be no resources and everyone will be hungry and homeless except the very rich and callous. Suffering and starving and on the streets. If there’s even room on the streets. Within a year people will be stacked on top of one another like very thin, softly moaning Jenga.*

It’s not just Torchwood, though. It is a mystery to me why anyone thinks eternal life is desirable in any way. The only vaguely bearable version is the kind where you can choose to die. If you don’t have that option, it’s just horrific no matter what you’re doing with your time.

The Christian version sounds all right at first glance. From what I can gather you don’t exactly experience time passing in heaven; you just… stop, or something, and enjoy eternal bliss. Fine. I’ll assume you never get bored or irritable or want to eat a pie, and I’m sure the presence of the Almighty is very soothing. But I still don’t want it. I want to die and be gone – living a long and happy life, yes, living on in my children and whatever I’ve written, cool, but that’s my hard limit.**

Because there’s absolutely nothing that’s fun to do a billion billion times over (and that definitely includes singing Hallelujahs to the god who gave you eternity in the first place). And also: endings are what gives everything shape.

Like this.

*What will actually happen, I assume, is that the Torchwood team resolve the problem and people start dying again. Though what should really happen is that the Doctor turns up to resolve everything, because this is still his universe. But never mind.

**And while you’re at it, give me a quick stab or something just to make sure I’m dead, because my other big phobia is being buried alive. Thank you.

I can't believe I found this in Microsoft Clip Art. What kind of Powerpoint presentation requires a homicidal cherub?


You May Experience A Burning Sensation

(Thanks to for republishing this on their site!)


As many of you will already be aware, this Saturday is an exciting day in the history of the world. According to the eBible Fellowship – and who can argue with them based on the robust and convincing evidence they provide? – on this Saturday, May 21st, true Christians will be removed from this world and taken to heaven, there to watch the 99.9% who weren’t chosen cope with a five-month-long global fire before the world is finally put out of its misery on October 21st.

Yes, the cream is being skimmed off the top of humanity; and as often happens, without any cream we may find that we experience some burning.

I love Rapture cults. This is going to be evident later in the year when my novel comes out, and frankly I would have appreciated it if the eBible Fellowship could have chosen a later date for this Rapture, as it would have provided a great gimmick for marketing my book. As it is, I’m just grateful I’m being published electronically and not in paper, since all the paper will have long since been burnt. I can only hope Kindles are flameproof.

On the plus side, it’s going to be very interesting to see how people react to the impending knowledge that there really is a God, he really does adhere to the beliefs of a minor evangelistic Christian group, and he really is extremely pissed off with the world. I mean, should we all convert, or what? Is there any point? The obviously-infallible eBible Fellowship is clear that after this Saturday, you’re either saved or you’re not, and those who aren’t are going to be denied any kind of afterlife. (Don’t bother with those good works, and praying is definitely going to be pointless). God no longer cares enough even to torture us for eternity; we’ll just die and that’s it, gone forever. Which, coincidentally, is what I believed was going to happen to me anyway. So all that’s really changed from my point of view is that a few people get to live for eternity. Good luck to them.

I am a little unclear, though, on God’s motivation is for the five-month gap between Rapture and destruction, if we have no hope of redeeming ourselves. My best guess is that he has some really big sausages he wants to barbecue.

I am of course assuming that everyone reading this is going to be left behind. If I’m wrong and one or two of you find yourself suddenly ascending into the air on Saturday, I wish you well, and I hope that you enjoy the next five months watching the rest of us running around screaming “It burns! It burns!”

Except that a true Christian, surely, would never enjoy the suffering of others, particularly when the others will almost certainly include loved ones and family members (not to mention pets, unless you’ve taken steps to protect them), so I presume that for you as well, most of the summer will be spent feeling fairly miserable. Still, at least you won’t be on fire.


Luckily, God owns the world's largest fork.



Everything is Satanic

I have been playing one of my favourite internet games. It’s very simple: think of something – object, person, event, concept – and see if you can find someone on the internet who believes it’s evil. Today we have:

bunny exorcist

British people:

British humour is the downfall of man. there would be no sin in this world without the likes of the Holy Grail and the Life of Brian.

Suspiciously tall boy band members:

What Bill and Tom’s true names are is every Christian’s guess, but there is no mistake that they are Nephilim, the unholy offspring of a fallen angel and a human woman. Both are very tall and have unnaturally large hands, with Bill, the more powerful, towering over everyone in the band by a difference of at least ten inches.

Apple (and computers in general):

…your programming is based on the hebrew YA, who we know was satan in disguise. If you open an executable program with notepad,you’ll see all the y’s with two dots above meaning YAH.

Yoruba or the evil Voodoo language is also a part of pre-installed languages like Windows 7. Just as the voodoo open source Ubantu or Linux systesm. All the same game.

Mother’s Day:

The so called ‘Mothers Day’ was observed in America first in 1914, the very year that Satan’s world ended and when he knew his time was short to get ready for the great battle of Armageddon. To induce people to bestow honor and worship upon mothers would be one step towards turning the people away from the worship of God, and this is one of his means of preparing Armageddon. On the face of it the arrangement of Mothers Day seems harmless and calculated to do good. But the people are in ignorance of Satan’s subtle hand in the matter, and that he is back of the movement, to turn the people away from God. The slogan is: “The best mother who ever lived”; the purpose being to establish creature worship, or at least to divert the attention of man from the proper worship of God.

(The quote is from the comments; the post itself concerns how men tipping their hats to women is Satanic. Because it makes women feel too important.)

Prince William

This is an easy one – roughly 50% of the internet seems to believe he’s the Antichrist.

…Certainly more than any other before or since, Prince William is definitely that candidate for that Evil power who has waited for such a charismatic man with the right lineage, to possess.

…there are some Christian fundamentalists who have pointed out that should Prince William become King, he would be called King William V* and by taking the W as two V’s and the I’s and l’s as the roman numeral for one, they have constructed an unsettling anagram: I AM VI VI VI or I AM 666.

Dolls, owls, frogs, unicorns and paisley:

I do realise there are no rabbits in this post.

bunny knifing

“Housecleaning” is what we call getting rid of anything in your home that may cause you demonic problems. Look through your home as you pray and the Lord will let you know what items need to be destroyed that have become an idol to you. Any type of collection – dolls (roots come from voodoo), owls and frogs (abominations to the Lord, as stated in the Bible), unicorns (lust and financial problems), etc. You may have only one or two of these items, but they are just as deadly as a collection. We have read and heard countless testimonies of what these items can do. Dolls levitate, walk and talk; owls caused cancer and when destroyed the person was totally healed. Please pray and seek the Lord regarding which items you must destroy.

…The paisley print is a satanic symbol from India, and also has a Catholic connection. satan wants to change the identity of man which is God’s love. satan wants to produce a beast incapable of love or feelings. If man wears satan’s labels, then satan has the right to attack.

And finally: what links Sarah Palin, Helen Keller and Bono?